


Wind of Freedom 2

by saucyminx



Series: Freedom Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-30
Updated: 2009-07-30
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are still communicating in as many ways as possible. Some things should be said in person... some things shouldn't be said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** some things are sacred

Sammy,

If I **ever** see this kind of thing in my car again, your ass is mine. Well, technically, I suppose that's already the case... whatever... don't leave garbage in my car. It's disgusting.

Do you want pasta or steak for dinner?

Dean

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Correction: YOUR ass is MINE

Dean,

You’re just jealous because I didn’t share the wings with you. And they were _really_ tasty. Also? I’m in class, I’ll be home in two hours, this couldn’t haven waited? Or you can’t figure out texts?

Why did I let you talk me into an art class? It’s ridiculous. But see, I drew trees. So stimulating I can hardly handle it.

Can we have steak _and_ pasta for dinner? Steak with a pasta side? And garlic bread? And vegetables? Baked potatoes? Damn… now I’m hungry.

So… whatcha wearing?

Sam

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** rock, paper, scissors for who tops later.

Sammy,

You eat like a freakin' horse dude... which ... makes me... think... n/m. So nice pic - can we put it on the fridge when you get home? If you're in class don't check your emails on your photo bitch! Saw this fridge - it plugs into the ubs thing on your laptop - thought it was perfect for you. Oh in case I forget Dad's needing my help with a job - might have to take off for a few days.

Dean

P.S. I'm wearing _your_ favourite shirt and my boxers. Just chillin' on the couch. Waitin' for something good to come hom...er happen.

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** How about the tallest tops?

Dean,

You talked to Dad? What’s he got going on? Just let me know _before_ you take off. Last time you left to help Bobby without warning me kinda pissed me off. Oh and it’s USB but I’ll forgive you your technological retardation. And if you buy me that I’m dying all your underwear hot pink.

My shirt huh? Maybe you should take it off and get yourself ready. I’ll be home in a half hour, you could make it a lot easier on me by being ready to go. On that note, get rid of the boxers too.

Sam

P.S. – Remember how I made you watch Star Wars?

~~~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** You cheat at rock, paper, scissors.

Sammy,

Ok. I'm _not_ your freakin' wife. I have sent you two pictures. The first one shows your clothes in a pile on the floor. The second one shows that hamper we bought to put your clothes IN. I know you have good aim because I'm seen you shoot and you've punched me several times. So get your godamn clothes IN the bin. I know that you remember buying the hamper because you spend 2 hours choosing one and I now know ours is made of "seagrass". I could have gone my entire life without knowing wtf seagrass is. I am still recovering from that shopping trip - psychologically scarred, Dude.

Anyway... now that we don't live in a motel room - could you maybe pick up after yourself?

I emailed 'cause if I have to say this to your face I'm going to feel like such a housewife.

Dean

PS - I could be convinced to lose again at rock, paper, scissors again if you'll do that.. thing again... with your tongue...

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I never cheat at anything outside sex

Mrs. Dean Winchester,

I’m sorry for the mix up but since I wear the pants in this relationship, I think you can handle a load of laundry once in a while. As the good domesticated housewife you do the cooking and the cleaning and I’ll bring home the bacon. Just remember to separate the whites from the colors and darks okay? And for the record it took only one hour to find the right laundry basket and that was only because I'd like us to be environmentally conscientious.

But don’t worry. As long as you’re a good housewife I promise to reward you with lots of very pornographic things involving tongues and fingers in very dark places.

Your devoted Husband,

Mr. Samuel Winchester

P.S. – I’ve bought these for your baby. A friend let me demonstrate their dashboard compatibility.

~~~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** I never have to cheat. I simply AM win.

Sammy,

BITE me ASSHAT. We'll see how happy you are when you have no clean shorts.

Now - are you sitting down? DON'T get mad....don't get that bitch face either. Dad's swinging by to pick me up tonight on his way to this job he needs me for. I don't know if you'll be home when he gets here so - if not - I'm taking my laptop and will email...will have my phone to. Please don't be mad if I'm gone when you get home. I know you hate that - but ... Dad and you... he's not gonna hang around.. and I don't wanna start the trip on a fight..ya know?

I'll miss you. Will you miss me? In case you do - check out this movie trailer. You were right, apparently, you and I - we're not as "out there" as I thought. Okay... so I hope I'll see you, cause I hate going anywhere without saying good-bye. I'll deny this later - but you give _the_ best good-bye kisses - guess that's why I look forward to hello so much. GOD you're turning me into _such_ a girl.

Love  
Dean

 

 

~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Alright I’ll admit, you are made of win

Dean,

Well I just got home and you’re not here so that’s pretty disappointing. I know how Dad is though, hardly giving any notice when he’s ready to go so don’t worry I’m not mad at you. I’m going to miss you though. I don’t know when you’ll read this… oh right I just remembered that trailer, couldn’t watch it during class. I’m gonna watch it now.

Holy shit. We need to rent this movie. Or buy it. I did some searching and found this whole other scene for it that just… fucking blew my mind. I knew we couldn’t be the only brother’s who spend far too many nights tangled together under bed sheets. Speaking of, ours are going to be too cold until you come home. I’ll just have to keep myself occupied.

I could do some homework. Or maybe I could just lay naked on your side of the bed, make myself feel like a girl by sniffing the sheets and pillowcases that smell like you. Did you know that just the scent of you gets me going? I mean, fuck, just thinking about it now is making me hard. I bet that turns you on. Thinking of me stroking myself with one hand while typing this. I’m gonna spend the rest of the evening picturing you laying beneath me, spread open for me. When you get back I’m gonna use my tongue in places you cant even dream of.

Be safe okay? Don't do anything stupid. Call me when you can.

Love you,

Sammy

P.S. – Tell Dad hi for me :)

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** you are the hottest thing I've ever seen

Sammy,

1\. Please warn me when you're going to send me an email that will give me an instant and raging hard-on, cause sitting across from Dad at a diner when that happens? AWKWARD. No he couldn't tell. Yes, you turned me on.

2\. That whole tongue thing? SO holding you to that when I get back. Seriously.

3\. I think I need a cold shower now.

4\. Dad's bitchy.

The case is complicated. It's a woman in white, we think. You know how much I love those. Unpredictable bitches I say. We can't seem to figure out who's she's connected to, why it keeps happening. Going out tonight to try and find her - Dad's seen her once. She appears on and around full moons so we're going out again in a few days to see if we can find her. We've had several arguments about who is better bait. Don't suppose you'll find it hard to imagine why I cant' tell Dad the truth and have ended up as the chosen one. Tell you the truth - I hate women in white - freak me out a bit. All that anger. Scary.

So yeah, if you don't hear from me in a few days... you'll know what happened.

I miss the sounds you make when I bite your neck. Great...there I go again.

Love

Dean.

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I want you like a fat kid wants cake

Dean,

I’ve called the past couple of days, incase you don’t notice the voicemail notices on your cell. I know you’re busy with the scary white lady but seriously dude, I’m starting to get worried. I hate not hearing from you. Especially when you’re on a case with Dad. How can I trust him to protect you? Wasn’t that long ago that he got you sent to a hospital.

Fuck Dean I miss you. In my opinion you’ve been gone too long. I miss the way your breath hitches when I dip my fingers under your waistband.

Call me.

Love,

Sam

~~~~~~~~

Sammy: _Dean where r u?_  
Sammy: _Brother! Answer ur phone_  
Sammy: _Deannn??_  
Deanw: _am ok -sorry - a bit .... stuck_  
Sammy: _Stuck? In? On? With?_  
Deanw: _it's complicated_  
Sammy: _I've got time_  
Deanw: _im in a shed_  
Sammy: _Um... not sure how to respond to that. y?_  
Deanw: _yeah me either. can't get out._  
Deanw: _dad shoved me in here, to hide, door barred. stuck_  
Sammy: _dad shoved u n a shed for safety and ur stuck? Irony_  
Deanw: _you won't b lafn when i starve to death_  
Deanw: _you wood miss me_  
Sammy: _Y would you even say somethin like that? Ur not dying_  
Sammy: _How u gonna pass the time?_  
Deanw: _sammy?_  
Deanw: _already been in here 2 daz_  
Sammy: _WTF?! Seriously? Dad's not answering._  
Sammy: _What city u n? Im hunting u down and gettin u outta there_  
Deanw: _no sam. dad will come. just gettin lo on water. worried_  
Deanw: _water in rain barrel. Love you - u know that right?_  
Sammy: _Dean shutit. Im comin for u now. Stop this goodbye shit._  
Sammy: _Love you too._  
Deanw: _unknot your panties Samantha. dad will come. never gone more than 2 daz._  
Deanw: _tell me what u did 2day?_  
Sammy: _Call me Samantha again and Ill deny u sex for a week_  
Sammy: _I laid around. Jacked off. Did homework. Jacked off. Ate._  
Deanw: _u pissed Sam? sorry. just bitchy. can trust dad u kno_  
Sammy: _Not pissed. Just scared for u. Miss u. Want u._  
Deanw: _dont worry. will be home soon. told dad already._  
Deanw: _dont like being away from you._  
Sammy: _its too quiet without u. i feel empty and lonely._  
Sammy: _and obviously far too sappy_  
Deanw: _i like u sappy. . dad...ok...will email_

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. - plato

Sam - am okay. Dad was arrested - managed to get out through window. Would have liked to see that. I ate too much when i got out of the shed (sounds like a reality show) and I've been sick most of the afternoon. Driving home tomorrow though - no matter what I don't care. I need to see you. Hell - I just need you. Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if we'd never... you know? 'Cause being here without you, with Dad, hunting - it's not what I want Sammy. It's like livin through some bad flashback and not being able to get out of it. Don't know if I tell you that enough. Dad says "hi".

I miss you so fuckin' much it hurts. Right inside my chest - maybe that's why people write about broken hearts - casue that's really where it aches when you can't be with the person you love.

I think I'm delirious with dehydration or something. Gonna hotwire a car - get home....need to get home.

Love you

Dean

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Delirious or not, I know you meant it

Dean,

I honestly don’t even know where to begin. I can’t wait to see you but please drive safely, stop and rest if you need it okay? Oh and if you haven’t left yet you can tell Dad that locking you in a shed was a fucking stupid idea no matter what sort of danger he thinks you’re in. Doesn’t he know you can take care of yourself?

I’ve been thinking a lot about things since you’ve been gone. I guess we’ll just have to have a long discussion about everything when you get home. Please be safe.

Love you,

Sam

P.S. – My whole body aches for you in ways I don’t think you can even comprehend.

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** two hours from you and I can't get there

Gotta stop, tired...need a couple hours of sleep. At motel you and i stayed at before when car broke down... Red something. I know it's only two hours away but I'm so fuckin' tired - you know i'd make it there tonight if I could. Wish you were here. Still not 100% i guess Sammy. See you tomorrow. Don't worry.

D.

~~~~~~~

Sammy: _R u up?? What room r u in?_  
Deanw: _201... :)_

~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I can’t always deal with you

If I have to hear one more word or read one more text about why you think going with Dad to fucking Alaska for a demon that may or _may not_ be causing minimal damage, I’m tying you to the bed and duck taping your mouth. And not in a pleasurable way.

This creature is nothing compared to some of the things around that aren’t thousands of miles away. And can I remind you that last time you went with Dad he locked you in a shed for two _fucking_ days for your supposed safety.

So in conclusion, you best be there when I get home from classes today.

Sam

~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** you're so cute when you're all bossy

Tied to bed, gagged. Gimme a couple minutes. ...

Ok...m'good now.

So yeah, You really gotta lighten up on Dad. The shed thing, we talked about that, it was a mistake and there was no permanent damage. And I got awesome freakin' I-missed-you motel sex. Sometimes, you're just... amazing. Anyway...

Dad needs me sometimes, I can't say no to him Sammy - you know that. He's ... well, I don't know. I worry about him sometimes, don't think he's always as sharp as he used to be. Don't get me wrong - he's still 10 times the hunter anyone else is - I Just think sometimes he needs me to go - and he'd never really say that outloud, he just comes up with some excuse as to why ne needs another body. Like this one...you know? That he can get there faster if we share the driving and stuff. This is a demon in a kid Sammy - you know- how that must be for Dad.... it must be hard to look at kids in trouble and not see your own kids. And you know, I haven't always been that great a guy - growing up - I'm thinkin' I owe Dad ... you know? I Let him down a lot I think - both of you really. Fuck...Ooookay when did this turn into Oprah.

I'll be here tonight when you get home. Can you hurry? I've been thinking about you ... all day... and that spot right on the back of your neck - that just makes you lose it when I bite you.... all day... so yeah, hurry.

I did find a photo for you - Dad took it _before_ I got locked in the shed... I Know you like photos of hot guys and cars heh. so here ya go.

Love  
Dean

PS - bring milk or no cereal for your late night snack you think I don't know about.

******

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I'll tie you to the bed for fun okay?

Dean,

How many times am I gonna have to say that A. you haven’t let me down in any way and B. you really don’t owe Dad anything at all. If he’s so gung-ho to go to Alaska then he can just go and you can stay here and keep my bed warm. And kiss that spot on the back of my neck. And let me tie you to the bed for real but in a really good way.

I could give you a reason to stay if that’s needed. Just think about a month without my skin against yours. A whole month where you never get to bury yourself deep inside me. All that time were you’ll be stuck in a crappy motel room with Dad and I’ll be laying bare between our sheets, free to trail my fingers over myself and think about all the ways I know how to drive you crazy.

Love you, please stay?

Sam

P.S. – One of my friends snapped this awhile back… I know how you enjoy my hipbones.

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** enjoy? SO not the word for.... your hip bones...just... not

Sammy,

How much time do you sit around thinking about how to tease me when I'm not there, in the same room as you - because you know if I was you'd be up against the wall right now? You know how I can just hold you up with my thigh between your legs, one hand on your chest? come home and I'll show you what I can do with the other hand.

Sammy - you're breaking my heart - I gotta go with Dad - and every time you ask me to stay and I know I can't it just busts a whole through somethin' inside of me and I feel like I'm fucking bleeding.

I'm attaching my favourite pic of you - I have it on my phone...so when I need to see you I can....

Come home - we'll talk - please stop asking me to stay.

Dean

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I figured you had a secret stash of photos of me

Dean,

I’m gonna beg you to stay until you leave and then I’m gonna beg you to come back until you do, so you’ll just have to get over it and make it up to me. Your thigh between my legs is a good start. Though I’m gonna need you on your knees at some point.

You know you’re pretty lucky? I’m here at the campus library and the guy across from me keeps giving me this interested look. I think he would enjoy doing some pretty unmentionable things to me.

I’ve never asked, have you ever sleep with any guys besides me?

Sam

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** would never be on my knees for anyone else

Sam,

Why the sudden interest in my past? You want to get with that guy at the Library? All joking aside - you want to ? go for it - I mean, you're still pretty young - you should probably - you know - try other things - not settle for me. I dunno.

I slept with one guy. Young hunter worked with Dad, he was - kinda beautiful in a strange way I'd never seen before. Really dark hair and tattoos. Who knew I have a tattoo kink? Anyway - you don't need to know about that.

so - have fun at the Library.

See ya when you get home

Dean

~~~~~~~~~~~

Deanw: _That email was a complete LIE_  
Deanw: _The part about how you should try other things, i mean_  
Deanw: _You ever touch anyone else I will die_  
Sammy: _Don’t be stupid. I only want to touch you._  
Sammy: _Like right now. 5 mins from home. Get naked._

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** My ass hurts

Dean,

I’ll get a tattoo for you. And you’re really fucking hot when you get all possessive like that. Of course if you leave then who knows what might happen.

So you'll stay right?

Love you,

Sam

P.S. - I'm bringing home dinner.

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** I'm not putting THAT in my mouth

Sammy,

Don't offer to get a tattoo if you don't mean it -cause ... fuck ... I think I could come just standing there watching you get inked. Jesus Christ. Okay. Wow. I think I Just got a new favorite fantasy.

I can't stay - Dad called... leaving tomorrow. I know you won't do anything with anyone else - I see the way you look at me - when you think I'm not looking at you.

Found this pic online - not that I was ... you know ... looking for stuff like that. But - we are TOTALLY getting a motorcycle when I get back from Alaska - so I can bend you over it like this and lick every fuckin' part of you.

I think you really need to come home. NOW. NOW Sammy.

Love  
Dean

~~~~~

Sammy: _Fuck. Be there in 15._  
Deanw: _ready in 10_

~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** In regards to the non pornographic parts of your email

Dean,

Well aren’t you cocky. What makes you think I wouldn’t sample the goods while you _abandon_ me in favor a month in freezing cold Alaska? You know I’m gonna get bored and lonely.

Be safe ok? Watch your back. Come back to me.

Sam

~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** how about we stop talking about you and other people.

Sam

Don't tease anymore about that, you and other guys - I know it sounds bitchy - but I don't like it. Can't think about things like that.

Dad's on his way. Love you.

Dean

~~~~~~

Sammy: _In Alaska yet? Been 4 days._  
Sammy: _Miss you._

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** It’s gonna be a long month

Dean,

Fucking miss you already.

Love you,

Sam

P.S. – Just don’t ask how I got it.

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** I'm keeping that pic on my phone

Sam

Crossed the border yesterday - Dad's driving like a freaking lunatic. This truck is not comfortable - let me tell you. Getting across the border into Canada was interesting - we decided to take the ferry in the end and it was easier - didn't get stopped and searched. Saw killer whales ... I've never seen anything like that in my life Sammy. Nature...man.

And we're in Juneau tonight - Dad knows some bikers here - I don't want to know how he knows bikers. He's been trying to hook me up with this biker chick ever since we got here. It's really annoying. She keeps grabbing my ass - and to tell you the truth - I just wanna smack her hand...but that would be gay.

I really miss you Sammy - maybe next time I go with Dad you could come too?

Dean

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** The week from hell

Dean - sorry I've been AWOL this past week. It's been killer. Those whale pictures are pretty amazing. I never would have guessed that you were so good with a camera. Tell that bitch who keeps touching your ass that it belongs to your brother and watch her freak out. It'll be funny. Maybe you should just let Dad know you're gay. Or do you think he'll put two and two together about us?

Anyway, this week has been really just... horrible. I'm pretty sure I failed my sociology exam. You know the one I've been studying for the past three weeks? Well I almost missed the exam in the first place, slept too late. Drank too much the night before. Damn that party sucked. Had a bunch of people over and someone caught our couch on fire. Don't worry, we managed to put it out. Yesterday we threw it out, got us a new one. The guy felt so bad he threw in his extra TV too. It's way nice. Also I'm letting a few friends crash at our place this week because their apartments getting fumigated. So that's the random stuff in that picture of our new couch.

I almost broke my leg yesterday running across campus. Tripped and landed in some dude's lap. Awkward. I may also have split coffee all over the backseat of the Impala. So how are things going for you now? How's the case? Think you'll be able to save the kid? Dad being tolerable? You're not tempted by any of those tattooed bikers right?

Miss you.

Sam

P.S. - I'm tired of jacking off to thoughts of you. I want you here. I need you here.

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** you really should never be left alone

Sammy,

Okay - so you know i love you more than life itself -but COFFEE on the backseat of my baby??? and... wait...what were you doing in the backseat? and in a guys lap? and ... Kid is gonna be okay - Dad, for once decided to just come clean with the family and they are letting him work with them. Kid is young - they're keeping him away from the rest of the family so the demon doesn't know what's going on. It's strange though man, why a kid so young?

What's all this about Sammy? You failed an exam ? You never fail exams. Wtf is going on? You're scaring me man.

Do I need to fly home?

Dean

PS Tell Dad I'm gay. Do you _want_ me dead? oh and QUIT shutting off your phone

~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Don’t worry your babys been steamed cleaned

Dean--- Dude I would so never sleep with anyone else. No one else would fit right. our bodies just kinda slide together you know? You fit in the curve of me just perfectly. No one will ever fit the same way ever again k?

Ima little drunk so Im feeling much more open than usual and pretty horny. Though Im kinda always horny. And its been like a million weeks so its even worse. And youre not answering your phonE!! I wanna have phone SEX! I wanna have SEX period but youre a gazillion miles away. So instead I wanna hear your voice in my ear as I get myself off. Dont you want that? Im sure you do! You gotta callme! And until then I shall entertain myself with uh myself.

Your kinda kinky right? I wanna know how kinky. What would you do if I got myself off while on the phone with you while you were in public? Or! With Dad. Could you handle that? Could you handle listening to me moan your name over and overand over until I came and not touching yourself?Even if i told you all the ways I was touching myself?

I need you back NOW Dean k? Im glad the kids better. Come home to me,

Sammy

~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** why can't I say no to you?

Sammy,

Picked up a car for Bobby - driving it back. Comin' home. Dad's staying - he can finish up now. I don't care - feel like you need me more.

Why do you think I was trying to phone you all week JACKASS. I wanna hear your voice. Sammy - you don't seem to know what you do to me. I've never... I  
dunno. I don't wanna get all TMI. I Just - fuck Sammy - the noises you make when I'm touching you. You almost fuckin' purr man, it's this deep, beautiful sound that just pounds right into my heart.

Sammy - here's what you're gonna do. Today - you go to classes. Each time you start a new class i want you to think about me touching you, running my hands over your ass, slipping my tongue past your lips, biting down on your nipples. But Sammy? Don't you **dare** touch yourself till I call you tonight. If you skip a class, if you touch yourself - I won't call.

Leaving now, will txt from the road to find out how you did baby bro. Okay??? I expect an answer by txt in the next 30 minutes.

Love you

Dean

PS I figured out the self timer on MY camera. THIS is what you get when I get home Sammy - only you.

~~~~~~~

Sammy: _holyfuck. Think I cant handle a challenge?_  
Sammy: _Speed._

 

Deanw: _I'm doing the speed limit the entire way. u back from classes yet?_

 

Sammy: _just got back. so hard I might cum without a single touch._  
Deanw: _did you go to all your classes? do what I told you?_  
Sammy: _Yes. I thought of u every second. Haven't touched myself_  
Sammy: _Almost home?_  
Deanw: _you in the car?_  
Sammy: _home now. laying on the bed, waiting for u_  
Deanw: _make sure your phone is charged, will call in 10_


	2. Chapter 2

Dean settled in the front seat, opened the window and breathed in the cool night air. He'd been thinking about Sam most of the day and now he was going to make Sam wait every second of the ten minutes he'd said it would be before he called. He leaned over and flicked on the stereo, found a hard rock station and kept the volume down low, he didn't want to miss a sound Sammy made. His hips twisted a bit as he tried to get comfortable, _fuck_ , he was already hard just thinking about Sam. He flicked his phone open and hit the speed dial for Sammy. The single ring seemed to talk longer than usual.

Sam – who had spent the last ten minutes staring impatiently at the phone in his hand – had the device flipped open and pressed against his ear before the first ring had even finished. Every fiber of his body tingled from the constant hard on he’d been sporting since reading Dean’s email the night before and he had to take several deep and shaky breaths before exhaling his brother’s name. “Dean… fuck.”

Dean laughed, low and gravelly, "Hey baby bro. You sound a little worked up. You good?" He licked his lips, knuckles whitening on the steering wheel.

"I'm going crazy. I've been waiting to talk to you for _days_ ," Sam trailed fingers down his skin, circling his belly button with the tip of his index finger. "So I can touch myself now right? I need some sort of release."

"No, Sammy." Dean's hips shifted forwards, Sam's voice was going to be the death of him. "Don't you dare, Sammy, I'll hear it in your voice if you do. After all," he leaned back on the seat, creating more room in his jeans, "I can't touch myself, one hand on the wheel, one on the phone - unless you want me drivin' into a ditch." He grinned when he heard a muffled groan on the other end of the line. "Maybe if you're real good."

Sam reached a hand up to thread a hand through his hair and frowned before whispering into the speaker, “Can’t you pull over or something? Don’t you know how crazy you’re making me?” He wanted nothing more then to wrap fingers firmly around his weeping cock and couldn't resist palming the front of boxers with a soft moan.

"I'll hang up if you do that again, Sammy." His brother can't seriously think that after all this time Dean can't tell the sounds he makes. It's like listening to music. "So - tell me Sammy, what did you think about today? What did you want me doing to you?" Dean shuffled on the seat so he could hold the steering wheel steady with his knee and ground the heel of his palm into the growing bulge in the front of his jeans. He clenched his teeth against the moan growing in his chest.

Sam was so painfully hard that his vision blurred around the edges as he listened to the sinfully delicious words spilling from his brother’s lips. “Fuck Dean it’s been so long. I don’t even know where to start… I want your lips. On mine. Everywhere,” he hissed as he arched almost desperately into the air, clenching the sheet tightly in his fist. "Jesus Dean."

Dean chuckled quietly, "Calm down, Sammy, you're gonna make me drive erratically." Dean slammed his hand back on the steering wheel and lowered his knee, "fuck... okay..." he blew out a breath into the phone. "Here's what I thought about bro - I was thinking about your body - that photo you sent me - when you come out of the shower you're so fuckin' hot it just about blows my mind. Your muscles... your skin...all that sweet smelling girly shit you use. It's perfect. Makes me want to throw you down on the bed - just run my mouth all over you, taste you..." Dean swallowed "Bet you wish I was there Sammy, running my hands down your sides, over your hips. I love the way my hands fit over your hips, just like they were made to be there."

The air left his lungs in a shaky exhale and Sam groaned in frustration. "You're telling me to calm down than saying that? Jesus Dean all I can think about is your body against mine," Sam hovered his fingers over the waist band of his boxers before tugging down, sighing in relief as he cock was exposed to the cool air of the apartment. "I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Are you trying to make me come with just words? Because I'm pretty sure that's a real possibility. Just one little touch Dean? Please? I'm really not above begging here obviously."

Dean signaled and turned into their parking lot, smiling like a Chesire cat. _Oh Sammy, you don't know what you're in for._ "Oh now," Dean growled out, "we can't have that, there's got to be touching but it should be done by someone else... " He shut of the engine and grabbed his bag from the passenger seat almost kicking the door open. "I lied Sam," his voice was thick, he leaned against the car and tried to catch his breath. "I'm outside, if I come in are ya gonna behave?"

Sam sat up in bed, throwing his legs over the edge and darting down the hall - hopping over the small pile of clothes in the hallway. "You're not kidding with me right? Jesus Dean if you're really here I promise to keep my hands to myself and let you do whatever the fuck you want to as long as it ends with me coming." He skidded to a stop halfway through the living room as the lock on the front door turned. "I love you," he breathed because it was the only thought that managed to press through his near giddy excitement at finally seeing his brother after almost a whole month apart.

Dean opened the door and walked in, tossing his bag to the side and grabbing Sam, crushing his lips to his brother's. When he pulled away so they could both breathe he put his phone back up to his ear, "bye, Sammy... see you in a few." He clicked the phone closed.

A silly grin spread across Sam's lips as he whispered a soft goodbye into his phone before snapping it closed and leaning forward to recapture his brother's lips.

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** you left without saying good-bye

Sammy - I know you had classes this morning - you should have woken me up before you left. Sorry - you wore me out. I'm glad I have you to come home to. Me and my aches and bruises are going back to bed for a nap now.

Love you

Dean

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** What if we just disappeared together somewhere?

Dean,

Sorry, I was running late. Had this thought that if I woke you up to say goodbye I probably never would have left for class. Wish I could just spend the rest of the week in your arms. damn that was so girlie. You're turning me into a sappy chick flick. Next thing you know I'm gonna be bringing you home flowers and candy.

By the way, I'm gonna be home late. Got some stuff to take care of.

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** i miss you already -but I'll never admit it

Sammy? Whose boxer shorts are on the lamp in the living room? oh yeah, and do we have a dog because there's a box of dog biscuits in the fridge? (which is weird in itself but whatever...) Those people who were staying here... they're all gone right? I'm not going to run into one of them when I open a closet am I?

Miss you

Dean

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** You kinda just did right?

Dean,

Are they the smiley face ones? Or the green ones with white polka dots? Both those would be Nathan's... If they're any other color then I have completely no idea. Either way I wouldn't touch them, use a stick to throw them out. Pretty sure we don't have a dog. Not completely sure about the biscuits. Oh and I think you should know, Mike had a hamster when he came to stay for awhile but I never saw him leave with it. So uh... be careful where you step kk?

As for the people they're all gone. Have been for several days. No one has a key or anything so you should be safe. But if any of them should stop by, they don't know we're brothers okay? They just know we're lovers.

Class sucks. Love you.

Sam

P.S. - We belong here. Yes, I'm occasionally immature.

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** ok - i'm never going away again

Sammy. I found the hamster. It wasn't pretty. We will never speak of it.

Gonna go work out. Will be all showered and pretty by the time you get home.

Should we have a sacrificial burning of boxers later?

Dean

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Good, you were looking flabby

Brother, am very relieved you found the hamster. Or just relieved it wasn't me. Might be unwise to burn the boxers, never know how that might smell.

So look I gotta get this thing off my chest. I was drunk quite a bit while you were gone, had a lot of random people over, probably did some pretty stupid things. Well no, I did do some stupid things. Just thought you should know.

I do love you, you know?

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** ...

Like how stupid?

D

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** It's okay

Stupid enough that you'd probably punch me if I were there. But not stupid enough that it should ruin us or anything.

Dean don't freak out. I can already tell you're freaking out. Stop. It was just a kiss ok? A very drunk, very brief kiss.

I swear it's not even worth mentioning, it'll just bug me until I say it so there. Stop freaking out.

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** there's no such thing as just a kiss

see... this is exactly what I knew would happen. You should have... _you_ wanted this, Sam. I don't even....

Phoned Dad - I'm going to meet him and help him with a job. Will phone later.

Dean.

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Don't be like this

Dean - seriously it's not what I wanted. I never _planned_ it. I'm sorry that it happened but you have to understand I was really really drunk and the guy was all over me. And then he looked a lot like you so my mind was all upside down.

Don't go. We need to talk about this in person. Please wait until I get home.

Sam

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Stop avoiding me

Okay you won't answer your phone. Dad isn't answering his phone. No texts. No emails. Stop this.

Come on, I love you. It was a stupid mistake.

Please?

Sam

~~~~~~~~

Sammy: _at least let me know you're alright._  
Sammy: _Dean. Please?_  
Sammy: _I love you._

~~~~~~~~~

Deanw: _am fine. working job. will email_

~~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** Dad and I are fine

Sam,

We are working hard, getting lots done. Dad is glad to have me back, he needed a hand with some things. Don't worry about your rent - I sent some money to the landlord that I had saved up. You're paid till the end of the semester. I need some time... to get things right in my head. Always your brother though - don't worry. Was too angry to be there - wanted to punch whoever that guy was. Never would hurt you. I think maybe, this is for the best, you should have more experience - check things out. Ironic - isn't it? I mean - it was me who had people... screwed around you know? Now, you need to do that.

Dean

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** You're an ass

Dean,

Are you seriously giving me permission to sleep around on you? Or is this is your sick and twisted way of breaking up with me? Because the semester's end is still several months away and also over Christmas. So now you're gonna do the typical fucked up Winchester thing and disappear?

Fine. That's how you want it to be? That's how it will be. I'm planning on picking up every random person who even glances my way. And I'm gonna fuck them. And I'm not gonna think of you at all because I'm not doing this shit with you.

So have fun. Take care and all that crap.

Sam

P.S. - I really don't care how Dad is. One of these days you'll get that.

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** fuck you

Sam,

I'm not the one who cheated.

Dean.

~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** Re: fuck you

Dean,

I said sorry. I said I was drunk. Mature people sit down and talk these things out. I've known couples who have gotten over more serious shit then this.

I'm willing to work it out, you're the baby who ran away.

Sam

~~~~~~

Deanw: _calling me names is really mature_  
Sammy: _like you have any room to talk_  
Deanw: _what do you want from me?_  
Sammy: _dont want anything from you. just want you_  
Deanw: _except when you have some other guys tongue in your mouth_  
Sammy: _like you've never made any mistakes Dean_  
DeanW: _not with you_  
Sammy: _didnt realize u were unable to forgive someone u say u love_  
Deanw: _i forgave you the day i left. u can do what you want._  
Sammy: _i WANT u to come back_  
Deanw: _can't right now - just have some fun. Do what you need to do._  
Sammy: _damnit Dean i dont need to do anything. I need u here. come on_  
Deanw: _no Sam. Not this time. I'm sorry. I will be in touch though. u good for money_  
Sammy: _ur really leaving me for good. we're done? seriously?_  
DeanW: _I don't know what I'm doing. I need time. Sam - u broke my heart. No one ever done that_  
Sammy: _god melodramatic much? it was just one kiss. we could get past it._  
Deanw: _bye sam. I will be in touch_  
Sammy: _fuck you Dean_

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:**

Sam, I am sorry that you think I'm being melodramatic. I thought you understood thoughts and feeling better than I did - guess I was wrong.

I know you think this is easy, something I should just get over. But it isn't. I changed my life for "us" Sam. I gave up hunting to stay in one spot, for you, so you could finish school, I left Dad without telling him the truth, I got a job, I hung around the house doing shit for you when I wasn't working. I did all of that because I wanted to - because I loved you _so_ fuckin much it hurt to be away from you. I feel like I can't breathe when I think about you - like my insides are all messed up.

And I'm gone for one month - and you kiss someone - and then you say it's nothing. When I kiss you Sam, I feel it everywhere - it's like this warmth being poured over me, into me. I think it's .. being closer to someone than fucking them. I could fuck anyone Sam, but kissing you - just made everything stop.  
So - how can you say it's nothing?

I don't know what to do. I went back with Dad because it's what I know and I felt like- I needed something I knew. Something I knew wouldn't change. I never thought this would happen Sam. I never thought it would bother me this much. I don't like that I'm so angry I could tear that guy apart. I guess, I never thought you would be the kind of guy - who would - I don't know what I thought actually.

I do miss you.

Dean

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I guess this is it then

Dean,

We've gone too far down this path to just go back to being brothers so, sorry, that's not gonna happen. If this is what you want - to just stick with Dad for your "time" or whatever - then you do that. Just don't come back. I'm not playing this game. If you can't stick around to work through one little mishap than obviously we're never gonna work out.

I'm not sure there is any more left to say. I guess just that I'll always love you. And don't worry, I'll be fine with money and whatever.

Goodbye Dean.

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:**

Why can't you give me some time Sam? What are you so afraid of? I'm sorry you coudln't let me have that. I really am.

I love you. You know how to reach me.

D.

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

Sam: _Is this Sam's brother? This is his friend Mike._  
Sam: _Sam's been in an accident, we're at the hospital_  
Deanw: _where r u?_  
Sam: _Stanford Hospital and Clinic in Palo Alto. U anywhere near by?_  
Deanw: _can be there in less than an hour. driving now. what happened?_  
Sam: _crashed on the 280. got hit by a semi. he's still unconscious_  
Deanw: _Jesus - what do dr's know?_  
Sam: _broken leg, arm and some ribs. possible brain damage. pretty beat up_  
Deanw: _fuck. u pay attention. U tell him, speak to him, tell him Dean coming. tell him i'll be there._  
Sam: _hes in some trouble. He was drunk when the crash happened just so you know_  
Deanw: _I don't care, u promise you'll say that to him_  
Sam: _Not going anywhere. Were in ICU now_  
Deanw: _won't stop will be there as soon as I can_

~~~~~~~

Sam wakes and realizes several things at once. First, his head hurts more then anything he's ever felt. Second, there's a steady beeping from the machine to the right of him. And last, he has no recollection of the past twenty four hours. Or however long it's been since Mike and he had pulled up to that trashy looking bar in Palo Alto. Judging from the stiff hospital bed he's in now, they must have gotten pretty wasted and done something really stupid. There's a knock at the door and he has to clear his throat several times before he can manage a hoarse, "come in."

The relief at hearing Sam's voice washes over Dean as he pushed the door open. Of course, Sam looks like shit - but he's alive. "Sam? Sammy?" Dean can't help it - he moves quickly to the side of the bed and throws his arms around Sam. His chest feels like it's going to crack open and he can barely breathe, but _fuck_ if Sam isn't the best thing he's ever seen even beaten and bruised and bandaged. "You okay, Sammy?" He pulls back a little cupping Sam's neck, running his other hand over Sam's face, checking, memorizing.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion and Sam couldn't tell if it was because of the pain medicine they'd given him or because he was seeing Dean - _his_ Dean - for the first time in almost half a year. "Dean? Is this real? Are you really here?" He stared wide eyed at him. "What... how did you even get here? How did you even know?" Everything was so confusing and all he could really process was the strong hope that he hadn't drunk dialed his brother with some pathetic confession of just how miserable he was without him before whatever happened that landed him here happened.

"I'm here, Sammy," Dean's hands fell to Sam's chest, he waited a moment then stepped back and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Your friend Mike got in touch with me. You were in an accident Sam... do you remember it?" Dean looked around the room and walked over to drag a chair back to Sam's bedside. Sitting down, he leaned forward, hands clasped starting up at his brother's battered form.

Sam wanted to snatch at his brother's arms, keep him as close as possible, but Dean was already across the room before his brain connected with the rest of his limbs so he just watched the painfully familiar curves of his brother's body fold into the hospital chair. "An accident? I just remember having some drinks. Mike's okay right?"

"He's... yeah," Dean shrugged, he'd never even asked, "I think so - he didn't mention anything on my phone. Said...you might have..." Dean looked down at his hands, fingers twisting together, "been drinking - maybe too much to be driving? Were you Sam?" His eyes flitted back up to Sam's, trying to read what was going on in his little brother's head.

"Well, considering I can't even remember leaving the bar I'd say I probably drank too much," Sam stared out the window for a long time before slowly turning to look at his brother. Tears pricked along the rims of his eyes and he cleared his throat. "Dean... I'm sorry. I think I've done some pretty fucked up stuff in the past few months."

Dean blinked slowly, he was so used to the pain that was in his chest now - he didn't notice when a little more was added to it. Ever since Sam had told him not to come back, he'd just felt hollow. And here he was after all these months, in the same room as his little brother. "Nothin' to apologize for Sam." _You just didn't want me to come back_. "I'm.. sure you'll work things out. You just gotta get back on your feet." Dean pushed himself up to his feet, unable to stand sitting still. "Should I .. do you need anything?"

Sam's heart tightened unexpectedly in his chest and he couldn't help the tears from spilling over as his brother stood. "No. I don't need anything," He cleared his throat and turned to look back at the window, hoping Dean wouldn't notice the tears. "So uh... did you have far to drive? Are you... are you heading back now?" Sam wasn't sure he could handle Dean leaving again, he wished he could take the last countless months and erase them, including the things he said he never meant.

Dean looked away, struggling to keep his emotions from showing on his face. He gestured towards the door, "Yeah, I guess, I mean, no not far - was with... well, was working not far away. Listen, I'm sorry I came, Sam - I know you told me not to come back. I've tried to respect that." He cleared his throat then swallowed around the lump that was there. "I just needed to see if you were okay."

"Jesus Dean..." Sam sucked in a sharp breath and turned quickly to him. "Do you... I mean, you don't have to go right away. If you're tired. Or hungry," he looked around for the device to call the nurse. "I could request some hospital food. You know how good hospital food is. Or you could just... fuck it Dean. Please stay. Just for a little while? I need you here and it's okay if you can't stay forever. Even if it's just a half hour. I just... I need to see you for awhile. Can you please stay?"

Dean's eyes widened at the sight of Sam's tear-streaked skin. He stepped closer to the bed, hand reaching out as if to wipe his brother's tears away, but he pulled back, shoving his hand in his pocket. "Ok, Sam, I can stay a little while." He blinked slowly staring into his brother's hazel eyes, wondering how Sam got so broken. Stepping backwards, he sat back down in the chair, fingers tugging at the zipper on his jacket. Pressing his lips together he raised his eyebrows, looking up at Sam. "So..."

He stared at the spot Dean's hand had hovered just moments before, wishing it had covered the distance and made contact with his skin. More than anything Sam wanted to feel Dean's heat against him again. But he figured it would be pushing his luck so instead he cleared his throat and let his head fall back against the pillow. "So I'm failing all my classes. And I'm crashing on Mike's couch because I lost the apartment. And I'm so miserable without you I can hardly muster up the energy to get out of bed in the morning. I get drunk every day because it's the only thing I can do to forget about you and even then all I do is dream about you."

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, Sam's voice rolling over him. Sam had loved those classes. And drinking every day? He leaned forward rubbing his eyes. _Fuck_. "Maybe we should... call Dad - he could come and spend some time with you - help you sort things out - get it together. He's a good man y'know. He's... he's been good to me this past ... well, since...." He ran his hand over his face, a nervous habit, buying time, "I don't understand Sam, you _told_ me not to come back," he could feel tears welling in his eyes and wiped them away furiously, "I just wanted some time but you said not to come back - and you knew where I was all this time...if you had changed your mind..." his voice broke.

"I don't want Dad here," Sam snaps because it's the first coherent thought to rise to the surface. "I can't explain to him why I'm like this and he won't stop asking until he gets some answers. So obviously that would be pretty stupid. I thought you'd put up more of a fight for me. If you... if you don't want to stay here it's fine. I'll figure this shit out on my own okay?" He tries to push forward in bed but hisses as pain shoots up his body. " _Fuck_."

"Dad knows." Dean kept his head down.

Sam's eyes widdened and he stared at his brother as his stomach lurched. "He. Knows? You told Dad?" Sam jerked back, ignoring the sharp sting of pain. "You fucking told DAD Dean?!?"

"Keep your voice down, Sam." Dean's eyes flicked up to Sam's then shot away as he glimpsed the rage and embarrassment on his brother's face. "I had to tell him, Sam. I couldn't even function after I left. He knew something was going on - he told me - said he suspected, never knew." He wiped his face on his sleeve. "He thinks you did the right thing, telling me to stay away," he huffed out a sharp laugh, "was proud of you - said you were always the smart one."

Dean's hands were shaking so he pulled them into the sleeves of his jacket. "It was tough at first, but he lets me hunt with him. But.." he looked up, eyes brightening, "he'd come to help you Sam. He would. I mean.. I told him it was my fault." He didn't even bother to try and hide the tears on his face. "I'm sorry - I did this to you, Sam. I'm really sorry."

Sam wasn't even sure where to begin with the thoughts that rushed forward. It was all too much to process so he shook his head and turned to stare out the window once more. "I need time. I can't deal with this now. Don't bring Dad here... I just... I'm gonna sleep now." He shifted slightly to his side and closed his eyes, trying not to let the sudden whirlwind of emotions take over him. "I still love you Dean..." He whispered as sleep pulled him under.

Dean sniffed and wiped his face once more, stood and stared down at his brother. He would be okay, one way or another. He pushed Sam's hair back off his forehead, rubbing the backs of his finger over his bruised cheek. "I still love you too, Sammy." He left, closing the door quietly so he didn't wake his brother.

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I really miss you

Dean,

I just got out of the hospital. I've done a lot of thinking these past few weeks, which is why I haven't contacted you. I'm not mad at you about telling Dad okay? It just shocked me, but I can understand why it came down to that. So I know I've really fucked up my life at this point in time. I'm gonna have to take some time off of school, obviously I can't keep going with these injuries and at this point it's too late, there's no way I'll be able to catch up.

I'm just going to work on getting better and then secure a steady job, get my own place. I'll probably leave the Stanford area because everything here is so expensive. Mike's gonna let me crash on his couch until I've got it figured out. I'm really gonna have to figure out something really great to do to thank him.

Look Dean, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For the kiss and the way I freaked out at you. I said some really stupid things and I regret them all. There hasn't been anyone since you left, and I really don't think there ever will be. You still hold all of my heart, I hate the idea of spending the rest of my life without you. I'm not gonna beg you to come back, I'm not even gonna ask, but if you want to- I'll welcome you with open arms. Or, you know, one open arm because the other's in a cast.

I hope everything else is okay.

Love you, miss you,

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** I never stopped loving you

Hey Sammy,

I never left Palo Alto. I've been here every since you were hurt. I drive by sometimes, make sure you're okay, love to see you outside walking around. You look good.

I've got a job here, working at a garage - thought maybe I should try being normal for a while - see if that helped me to think a little better. I'm glad you're working things out - sounds like Mike is a great guy. I've been saving some money, trying to get back on my feet. Dad and I talk sometimes on the phone. (I know you don't care.)

Listen - I have this place. It's not much...a house with a garage for me to work in. Rent is cheap and I got a good deal because I'm fixin' it up.

So if you get tired of Mike's couch....I know this guy who's pretty lonely -and he's got a big bed... and he's warm and pretty okay lookin'. Some family issues - but I'm sure you could put up with that. He lost somebody really special to him a while ago so he's pretty broken...but - I'm pretty sure you could fix hm. He's even got a dog - isn't that weird? You always wanted a dog.

Please?

Dean

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** What kind of dog?

God Dean you don't even have to ask. I would have texted you sooner if I'd known you were in the area. You should have stopped by to see me.

So basically the minute you let me know where you live I'll be there. Or um... well I might need a ride cause I'm not exactly in the best driving condition. Are things gonna be awkward between us? I mean, if I go to kiss you will you kiss me back? Because I'm not gonna lie Dean. I want to kiss you more than anything.

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** For someone so smart - you can be really stupid.

Sammy,

I offered you my bed with NO intention whatsoever of sleeping on the couch. So is a kiss gonna be weird? For me? No. For my dog? maybe...he might try and bite you.

He's a big thing, brown and black, real smart, mutt, got him from one of those resuce places you used to go on aboutt...we might have to change his name though, I called him Sammy. I couldn't help it- I missed you.

Can I come pick you up tonight? You don't have to stay - you can just visit if you want - make sure you don't feel weird or anything? make sure Sammy likes you?

Dean

~~~~~~~~

 **From:** Samuel.winchester@stanford.edu  
 **To:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **Subject:** I'm the fucking smartest

Dean,

We are renaming the dog. If you're insisting on calling me Sammy than yeah... we're gonna rename the dog.

God I'd say you can come get me right now. I fucking miss you so much. Seriously, I've been sporting a major hard on since my last email, just thinking about kissing you.

So yeah, come get me. You know where Mike lives right?

Sam

~~~~~~~

 **From:** dean.win1979@gmail.com  
 **To:** Samuel.Winchester@stanford.edu  
 **Subject:** ok

Sammy,

Course I know where Mike lives I've basically been stalking you. I'm STILL a hunter ya know.

So here's a pic. Think up a name while I'm on my way over.

The shelter took this pic - he's happier now- his ears perk up when he's with me.

Dean & the dog formerly known as Sammy

~~~~~~~~

Sammy: _how bout Rocco? Thats a good dog name. Cant wait to see u._


End file.
